FREEDOM.............................

For so many years I have been tormented with thoughts of oppression. With my health putting me in pain I searched so many areas for help. Doctors, family members, medicine everything. Wednesday the pain was so great I could not handle it. The day before my stomach had started to hurt and my mind was constantly being attacked with thoughts of doubt. April 15th God did something amazing in my life. As I struggled with fulfilling my work duties such attacks were taking place in my mind. My stomach hurt tremendously, body was weak. The enemy so desperately wanted me t go back to the old way I dealt with pain. To manipulate it make it obey, to not cry and just go to sleep to be unconscious and stay that way. I knew that this was from the enemy I no longer wanted to live this way. As I called out to God for help he sent Judy first who asked if I would like prayer. I said no that I needed to talk with Sara and Erica (leaders/counselors). They have been the ones that I have been walking through these last past weeks with, sharing many details of my past. They have been with me as God has led me to renounce, forgive, and apologize. I live in a cabin which is a short walk from the base. I started to cry and my roommate (Nicole) came in. She asked if I wanted to go to the base and I said yes. As we walked my chest was so heavy, with one hand I held my chest the other arm was holding onto Nicole. I was crying so hard. I didn’t care who saw. The pain was so great from suppressing it for so long so many years. All the staff from the school were having a meeting as we got closer something in me wanted to run the other way retreat hide. Moving forward Sara and Erica came to me and took me into the dining hall to the corner where we could be more alone. Renouncing to my distrust in God in the area of my health. Repenting on relying on myself and others for my health not allowing Him to have anything to do with it. Saying no God you are not making me feel better I’ll do it myself. Giving him my mind and emotions. Not wanting to manipulate them in order to always appear strong. To allow God to be the one who gives me strength. When we finished praying as I went up to the hill I wanted to take my hair down. Immediately the enemy attacked you can’t do that you people may see your hair a mess and judge you. I said “Are you kidding me no one cares about my hair. It does not matter what they think God is the one who tells me my worth not people.” Walking up the hill that showed Pichilemu the ocean the town I began to sing my own song. Again a attack came “People will hear you and think you are crazy!). What do I care what they think I am spending time with my God praising him for his creation. I could tell the enemy was scared because for the first time I was able to see his ways of attack and identify it as him and not people. Looking at the cross that was at the top of the hill I stood on knowing that everything every part of me was surrendered to God was the most reassuring feeling. To know how many times my thoughts have deceived me and now He was the one who would be in charge not myself. He spoke so clearly to me that Thursday would be the day of deliverance. In my quite time I memorized scripture that He had given me before coming to this school. Promises of the peace he wanted to give. As we had class God kept teaching me so much about His truth. During the prayer, worship, deliverance time that followed God did an amazing work in my life. I would share it with you, but unfortunately it would take much time to write it all. You will just have to wait for me to return home to get all the details. Main Point God set me FREE…… The enemy left not able to torment my mind any longer. Where God is being worshiped and His character proclaimed the enemy cannot stay long. Never before have I felt so much peace. God’s love for me overflowed, the Holy Spirit welled up in me to the point where I did not know what to do beyond wanting to jump up and down and scream at the top of my lungs God is so Good He has set me free. God continued to bless me in being able to share during small group my experience and then watch my brothers wedding. I felt as if I was in Alton NH, on Thursday night with my family celebrating God faithfulness. The days that have followed have continually been a blessing in my life. As I seek God and remain in His word His truth He gives me little gifts all day. As I pour out love on others the love that is poured on me is overwhelming. To be able to worship and feel Gods embrace feel Him hug me close surround me. I feel as if these words do not do justice to what God has been doing. I am so excited as He is putting desires in my heart to share what He has done in my life. Looking forward to sharing with all of you when I come home in September, but I am so content being right here that I do not long to be at home. I miss you all and pray for you often, but have such peace in my soul as I know that God is taking care of you and He sure can do a better job than I ever could. LOVE YOU ALL! GOD BLESS.